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英语幽默笑话集锦

英语幽默段子,让你的逼格更高。下面是小编为你整理的几则英语幽默精彩段子,让你笑到停不下来!!!

一、我是单身汉

Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."

二、死于肝癌的`人100%都吃饭

Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.

Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.

妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.

丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.

三、位置上的冰激凌

"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."

"Yours?Can you prove it?"

"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

"请原谅,你占了我的位置."

"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"

"能,我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌."

四、别无选择

One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"

Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"

一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"

亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"

五、两个男孩

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

当老师走进教室时,两个男孩在争论.

老师是说:你们在争论什么?

一个男孩回答:‘我们捡到一张10块,我们决定把它给一个说最大的谎的人.’

‘你们应该觉得羞耻’老师说,‘当我像你们那么大的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’

两个男孩把钱给了那个老师.

六、两只鸟

Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?

Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher:Please tell us.

Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

学生:我指不出,但我知道答案.

老师:请说说看.

学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.

七、鱼网

"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗," 老师发问道.

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了." 小女孩回答道.

八、他赢了

Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.

Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen?

Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.

汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼:他害病卧床了.他受了伤.

汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?

约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.

选我吧

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